My Running History (abridged)

I am a very poor runner. Not just a slow runner or a short runner but also an inconsistent runner. Likely the worst offense and why I’m also a slow, short-distance runner.

During the presidential tests that were forced on all children during the nineties (do they still do those?), I always came in last. Never ran. Never walked quickly. Failed each time. It was just me until a new kid enrolled then it was the two of us. We became best friends and started playing Dungeons & Dragons in his basement a bit later. Thank you slowness.

I didn’t start running until I was in college (over twenty years ago). I had a lot of pent up energy and no dates but there was a field with a loose gravel track across the street from my dorm. That’s where I started running in my low top Adidas Superstars. I do not recommend (the shoes).

I did that in combination with some weightlifting. Both sporadic and without guidance. It didn’t matter because anything I did at that point was an improvement. Also, I was young so overexertion was barely an idea. Recovery was quick and easy. What glory days they were.

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Photo by Phil Reid on Unsplash

Eventually running slid away while lifting took to the forefront. I was built better for lifting. I was a larger guy, Six foot three inches and usually over 250 lbs., who helped around my parents’ place which wasn’t exactly a farm but had a lot of shit that needed to be lifted and carried around. Running felt unnatural at times.

Yet, it would continue to pop up whenever I heard that I needed more cardio. I tried bike riding for a short stint while saving for a new car in my twenties but the toll that my taint took on that seat was too great. No. Running was the best. Well, walking was the best but running was close behind.

Again, I never ran with a plan. The best I could do was every other day, in the morning, for about 20-30 minutes. That seemed to be ok. But I always stopped for long periods of time. Consistency never entered my mind.

I sustained an injury in my early thirties that made running pretty unbearable. It made everything pretty unbearable. The only thing worthwhile was short walks and short sitting times. I could really only lay flat for extended periods of time. It slowly got better over a decade. Never gone but better. I still have it now. In fact, I’m in another state as I write this to see a specialist, hoping there is something they can do. Fingers crossed!

I started running again a few years ago, after Lockdown. Just ten to twenty minutes as a warm up or cool down from lifting (which I hadn’t done in a long time either). Just on the treadmill at a slow pace. Nothing fancy but I wore the right kind of shoes. So I got better there.

I moved to Colorado around that time and ran the BOLDERBoulder 10K which was way less running and more walking. It was early on in my return to running but my brother asked and I was feeling the need for a push of some sort. The best part was walking into the stadium which was intoxicating, and I finally understood the appeal it has for athletes.

Afterwards, I took my running outside on my non-lifting days. Not all the time but enough to feel results. Still short and sporadic though.

Then one day I was feeling particularly stressed about work so I went for a run in the cemetery near my then apartment at lunchtime. I ran the normal twenty minutes but was really booking it. Booking it for me anyway. I had gone quite the distance in that time. So I decided to run a 5K. Like really run it. No walking. And that was daunting. I hadn’t ever ran that much without walking.

I did it and returned to work. My Apple Watch had a high heart rate the rest of the day and I was vibrating. I couldn’t sit still or calm down for hours. I googled symptoms in case I was having a heart attack while I waited to chill out. I found that when someone exerts themselves like in a run then the body goes into a kind of shock and pumps in all this stuff. And since a 5K was over twice what I normally ran and at a much faster pace, my body probably thought I was being chased and needed to fight. Or that I would die soon.

Something in my brain about running changed though. I really loved that run. It was hard. Like really hard but I enjoyed it and my dopamine was boosted for days. I started running 5Ks every other day then every day. I bought a roller for my legs. I started reading about warm-ups and actually doing them. I was feeling addicted.

I started thinking about running all the time. I started consuming running media and news. I started contemplating the philosophies behind running. I started thinking about the first iteration of this newsletter. I started Nike’s Run Club marathon training program. Then I fucked up my legs.

Nothing permanent, I think. Just too much too fast when I started the marathon training. My legs could not recover. It took days to get anywhere to normal and that set me back. Then I started thinking about how poorly I always ran. I spiraled, which I am prone to do. And I pulled back on the running and wondered if I belonged in running.

It was a different spiral than normal. It started with the usual negative thoughts but then went into how do I get back into this? How do I carve out an area that is mine? Thank you years of therapy which I also started around the time I had ran the BOLDERBoulder.

I’m running again. Sporadically and shorter distances. Time based to build up my base. I think that was lacking. Years of weight lifting taught me to add 10% each week. Turns out that is a lot for a new runner. You’ll feel good for a while then injury.

Another curious thing has come up as I’m running. I’ve grown to appreciate the outdoors. I was never an outdoorsy guy. Preferred staying and reading comics to going out in the sun. Now I think about climate change and how that impacts running. And how running can impact climate change. And I want to go outside more. I have sunscreen I dutifully put on before my runs.

And today as I finish this off, I’m going to a local running shop to buy a trail shoe. Which was never in my mind even a year ago but here we are. I mean I’m not camping and the trail running will be on a few acres around a relative’s house, but still the outdoors is cool. I’m shocked to feel that way.

Despite all these years though I’m still a slow, inconsistent, short-distance runner and I’ve never been more in love with it.